Perhaps you’ve begun to fall in love with the person you’re dating, but you’re not sure whether they’re interested in a long-term commitment, so you’re looking for indications or hints about what they do want. Relationship specialists advise asking the person directly. While this is a guaranteed method to get your answers, some people would rather not spoil the moment by putting their other half on the spot. Others are too timid to ask, scared of the answer (perhaps no matter what it is). With that in mind, here are some other less direct ways to determine whether someone wants a long-term relationship with you.
They Make Time For You
When someone is engaged in something long-term, they don’t just find time for it; they actively look for ways to make time for it. And in a relationship, that means making time for you. This means they are interested in you and want to spend a lot of time with you. Also, if they are consistent – for example, turning up on time – they demonstrate that they are making an effort and actually want to be there.
Be aware of those people who come on strong after just knowing you for a short time since they could be suffering from avoidant attachment – wanting to be with someone but getting uncomfortable when they get near and backing off. If they seem excessively eager, this might be a red flag, and you should take a step back.
They Make Small Commitments
You could begin to see your significant other taking little moves toward commitment. These might include desiring exclusivity and repeatedly telling you they love you, for example. Other signs of commitment include leaving a few belongings at your place, wishing to meet your relatives or friends, and so on. If you see these things, it might be a good time to chat about the future.
They Remember Minor Details
If someone recalls what you said, even if just in passing, and then returns to it later, they are probably genuinely interested in being with you. They took notice of what you said, and it was extremely important to them that they memorize it.
It’s worth emphasizing that because of selective filtering, our brain will create a place for us to retain critical information. If our brain tells us something is significant, it’s typically because we care about it, so if the things you say and do are there, that’s a good sign.
They Make Changes
Although no one should change themselves for someone else – that will only lead to misery – if someone is making changes in their lives that you have perhaps helped make them realize are necessary, this is great. Perhaps a man had a vasectomy and now wants to have it reversed by Dr Derek Lok because you have both expressed an interest in having children together. Perhaps they have stopped smoking or drinking to excess because they want to be healthy to enjoy the time you have together more. Maybe they have finally got round to decorating their home, a job they were putting off, because it would make you happy.
These small changes show that they are taking your relationship seriously and want it to be long-term.