When you become a parent, it’s a bit like making a promise. You promise to be there for your child for the rest of your life, making sure to guide them as best you can, and to always love and care for them. For many parents, this is a very serious promise that isn’t undertaken lightly!
Because of that, the idea that you might need a break from being a parent seems illegal. Whenever you think about taking an hour for yourself, or god forbid, the whole day, the guilt can be overwhelming.
But every parent should have the chance to take a break when they need to. It shouldn’t be a shameful decision that makes you feel like a terrible mom or dad. In fact, it’s perfectly OK, and even a right, for a parent to take time to themself. And here are three very simple reasons why.
Your Children Would Want You to Be OK
This is the one thing to remember when you’re worried about taking a break. As a parent, you want to be there for your children at all times. You might feel like you’re neglecting them if you choose a self care activity, despite how much you need one right now.
From your child’s point of view, however, they want a parent who’s as healthy and happy as possible. They want as much quality time as possible, yes, but if you’re burnt out and need a break, it won’t be quality time.
Remember, kids of all ages can understand the want to cry when unhappy! And when someone so important in their life as their mom or dad wants to sit and cry all the time, they’re definitely going to want to help you feel OK again, just like you would for them.
Taking Regular Breaks Sets a Good Example
When you take a break, you show your children that it’s perfectly normal to need some time alone. Many kids don’t get to see this in their day to day life, which makes it more likely for them to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. This in turn can make it harder to control their feelings without lashing out or throwing a temper tantrum.
But if their parent takes the lead here, they learn what they need to ask for during these emotional times. If you say you need an hour to yourself, and you make this a regular occurrence that’s no more out of the ordinary than going to the park or having pizza for dinner once a month, they’ll be able to adopt the same self soothing behavior that’ll work right into adulthood.
They’ll very soon come to realize that taking this break feels good. It’s another, more involved version of stepping away to cool off when you’re angry, which is something parents have been recommending to their children for years.
Parents Still Need to Take Care of Their Mental Health
Many parents think needing to see a therapist or looking into the benefits of an inpatient rehab will make everyone think they’re a bad parent. They might feel they can’t handle the demands of raising children, and in a world where perfect responsibility is expected of any and all parents, this can prevent us from talking about the support we need.
Human beings need to take care of their mental health. People don’t suddenly stop being human when they become a parent. Having a child does not mean you’re now a superhero capable of handling any pressure! You’re still a human being who is going to need a moment to yourself from time to time – yes, even from your children.
Being able to take this break is part of good mental wellness. When you take time for yourself, you’re more likely to understand the sources of your stress and be much better able to come up with a plan to handle them. And if this means you need alone time or structured support outside of the home, you’ll be making the right choice for the health of your family.
If You’re a Parent in Need of a Break, Take One!
It’s OK! You’re human, you need some time to recharge, and your kids wouldn’t want you to feel this amount of stress and pressure. They’d want you to feel happy when you’re with them, just like they feel when they’re with you. So take a break, treat yourself, and let’s shake off the guilt of some alone time together.
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