Mom burn out is a real problem with moms of any age. We throw everything we have into our jobs, our kids, and our partners and we are left with very little at the end of the day. We deserve to be treated the same way we are treating everyone else and that means you need to be able to take the time to focus on yourself.
Of course, this is only doable when you can unplug and refresh your brain. As a Mom, even unplugging involves the kids! So, it’s not hard to see why you think time alone is almost impossible.
Thankfully, it isn’t, not when you utilize the following hacks.
Remember your favorite things before you had kids.
Make a list of all of the things you loved to do before you had kids. Included everything, such as going for a run in the park or painting and make it a goal to reincorporate that hobby back in your life someway.
Do the Small Things
Small things, like taking a few minutes for mediation before the kids wake up or a hot shower can go a long way to helping you feel good. Sometimes you have to move things around, I used to have to get up earlier than my kids to make sure I could fit my shower in with no interruptions but it was really important to my mental health!
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity, it’s sanity.” -Andre Gide
Look for Outside Help
Does the idea of a nanny or au pair sound indulgent? For many Moms, it is unnecessary because you don’t require any assistance taking care of your children. It’s your job. Plus, it’s a needless expenditure. However, hiring a nanny allows you to share the responsibilities with another adult. That alone is worth the cost. Please note that the price of a nanny isn’t very high, not when you factor in the impact on your schedule, mental health, and relationship with your kids. Asking relatives for help is another alternative, yet you may live away and not have your core family’s safety net.
Adjust Your Sleep Schedule
Are your kids early risers? Put them to bed a little early so you have more me-time at night. Do you struggle to get them to sleep at night? Set your alarm an hour earlier in the morning to get your time to yourself and with your significant other then. For many years in our marriage, my husband would get up shower, make himself breakfast, pack a lunch and head to work all before I was awake. It has made a big difference in our relationship for me to wake up and spend time with him before he leaves for the day and bonus, the kids aren’t up yet.
Exercise
Working out ensures you relieve tension and anxiety. As a result, you won’t have as many negative emotions, and you won’t need as much time alone. What you need are exercise tactics for busy parents, and you can find them here. Don’t ever disregard the importance of exercise in making you feel well. Endorphins are a much-needed boost.
Drink More Water
Take the time to make sure you are getting enough water in a day. It will help you feel better overall. I like to mark times on my water bottle, so I keep on top of it throughout the day.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
— Buddha
Find Your Tribe
Making friends as an adult can be so daunting. Look for parents that are in similar situations as you. Try and mommy and me class and then invite a fellow mom out afterwards. Get to know the other moms of kids in your child’s classes. Finding other people who understand what you are dealing with always helps immensely! There are some great mom groups online as well where you can vent your frustrations and ask for help!
Don’t Always Interfere
Take a look around – is everything under control? Is your partner watching the kids? Are they happily staring at the TV? If the answers are yes, yes, and yes, you can steal away and go upstairs. Hopefully, nobody will notice you’re missing, but in case they do, you should lock the door. That way, you can read or listen to music in peace while your partner does the heavy lifting downstairs.
One of my biggest downfalls as a young mom was always taking over for my husband. Is he bathing the baby the exact same way that I do? No. Does he NEED to? No. Dads need the opportunities to feed, bathe, and care for the little ones too and it is important that we give them those chances without taking over, plus, bonus me time.
How do you find the balance between motherhood and “me time?
Mom burnout is real and very exhausting. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help from my friends and family especially when life gets too overwhelming.